May the Year of the (under)Dog be our year...
GONG XI FA CAI !
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
1% Talent, 99% Hard Work
The whole of last year saw us going through a lot of self-doubt. It's easy to say, "Oh, we're shooting in April" when you know that April is aeons away when you said it in November 2005.
Tick tock tick tock... it's now 2006.
We've talked to so many people last year and need to talk to even more this year. But we had not ink any deals with anyone - cast, crew or investor by December 2005.
We sat down doing some serious thinking - we haven't an investor, we have no distribution deal. We have some money. Some actors we approached have shown interested to come onboard, some don't. We may have a chance at getting a crew, because at the least, they have the same passion for filmmaking.
But nothing concrete.
And everyone dissuaded us from using our own money to make the film. They think it's suicide.
We wonder whether we should push on with the project...
I remembered that at one point, Eng Tiong is so dejected and frustrated (which he is seldom so because he is usually the more optimistic of us two) when he can't find a feasible post-production solution for Dollhouse, with time running short because of film festival submission deadlines, that he questioned why we're doing this, wanting to make films.
I answered in a really small voice, "because we want to fulfil our dream?"
That sounded really weak. What is a dream anyway but an imaginary bubble in my head? I know I couldn't even convince myself.
By then I, too, wasn't sure whether it's a dream or a nightmare.
He said, "It's all for ego, isn't it? Because we want people to pay money to come watch the film and like it, so that we will feel good about ourselves."
I remained silent throughout the journey home that night. I realised that I don't know the answer either.
Is filmmaking really my dream? Or is it nothing but an ego trip?
A few days later, 7 January 2006, a Saturday, I was reading the newspapers. I don't usually read the Saturday Recruit Section but I did that day. Don't know why.
I scrutinized each and every job ad - engineering, finance, business, HR, sales... and more engineering. There isn't a job out there for my skills and capabilities.
A huge wave of disappointment washes over - there isn't a job out there for me.
But just as suddenly, I had a revelation. It hits me why I want to make "Exposed!"
It's not ego.
It's just simply to feel useful in this world, that I have a reason to be here. That I have something to offer the world.
I may not be able to cook to be a chef or to invent something useful to help mankind. But I can provide a story for their entertainment. That may not seem like much but at least, it is something.
Eng Tiong asks, "Aren't you being over-confident to think that we have a talent in filmmaking?"
I said, "Even Einstein said that being a genius is 1% talent and 99% hard work. 99% is something we can deal with. And I have the intention to make filmmaking my capability."
So there. The first instinct to make a film isn't about making money, it isn't about fame. It's definitely not ego.
It's about being useful in this world with my chosen capability.
So yes, we decided to go ahead with making "Exposed!" We'll put in our own money. And I can tell you, it's totally hard-earned.
Every single cent of it.
It's not going to be enough and we've told everyone involved so. We're going to find the money or go earn some more to make sure everyone onboard gets paid.
We're definitely glad and appreciative of all the advices we've had from everyone. Ultimately, we have to listen to our own. And somehow I feel I haven't heard it for a long while.
It's good to hear it now.
Tick tock tick tock... it's now 2006.
We've talked to so many people last year and need to talk to even more this year. But we had not ink any deals with anyone - cast, crew or investor by December 2005.
We sat down doing some serious thinking - we haven't an investor, we have no distribution deal. We have some money. Some actors we approached have shown interested to come onboard, some don't. We may have a chance at getting a crew, because at the least, they have the same passion for filmmaking.
But nothing concrete.
And everyone dissuaded us from using our own money to make the film. They think it's suicide.
We wonder whether we should push on with the project...
I remembered that at one point, Eng Tiong is so dejected and frustrated (which he is seldom so because he is usually the more optimistic of us two) when he can't find a feasible post-production solution for Dollhouse, with time running short because of film festival submission deadlines, that he questioned why we're doing this, wanting to make films.
I answered in a really small voice, "because we want to fulfil our dream?"
That sounded really weak. What is a dream anyway but an imaginary bubble in my head? I know I couldn't even convince myself.
By then I, too, wasn't sure whether it's a dream or a nightmare.
He said, "It's all for ego, isn't it? Because we want people to pay money to come watch the film and like it, so that we will feel good about ourselves."
I remained silent throughout the journey home that night. I realised that I don't know the answer either.
Is filmmaking really my dream? Or is it nothing but an ego trip?
A few days later, 7 January 2006, a Saturday, I was reading the newspapers. I don't usually read the Saturday Recruit Section but I did that day. Don't know why.
I scrutinized each and every job ad - engineering, finance, business, HR, sales... and more engineering. There isn't a job out there for my skills and capabilities.
A huge wave of disappointment washes over - there isn't a job out there for me.
But just as suddenly, I had a revelation. It hits me why I want to make "Exposed!"
It's not ego.
It's just simply to feel useful in this world, that I have a reason to be here. That I have something to offer the world.
I may not be able to cook to be a chef or to invent something useful to help mankind. But I can provide a story for their entertainment. That may not seem like much but at least, it is something.
Eng Tiong asks, "Aren't you being over-confident to think that we have a talent in filmmaking?"
I said, "Even Einstein said that being a genius is 1% talent and 99% hard work. 99% is something we can deal with. And I have the intention to make filmmaking my capability."
So there. The first instinct to make a film isn't about making money, it isn't about fame. It's definitely not ego.
It's about being useful in this world with my chosen capability.
So yes, we decided to go ahead with making "Exposed!" We'll put in our own money. And I can tell you, it's totally hard-earned.
Every single cent of it.
It's not going to be enough and we've told everyone involved so. We're going to find the money or go earn some more to make sure everyone onboard gets paid.
We're definitely glad and appreciative of all the advices we've had from everyone. Ultimately, we have to listen to our own. And somehow I feel I haven't heard it for a long while.
It's good to hear it now.
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